A Sacred Art Form, Dictated by Data-Drunk Billionaires
Hi, I’m Sean, and I work for Instagram–I mean, I’m technically a tattooer, but that part’s easy to forget since I now spend more time making “content” than creating actual art. Remember when you had to learn to draw before being a tattooer? Hilarious.
Look, I don’t need to explain to you how the tech overlords are actively ruining humanity. You’ve seen the headlines: algorithms radicalizing your uncle, AI data centres melting glaciers, and Jeff Bezos buying his fifth space yacht with the money he saved by not paying taxes. But what you might not know is that they’re also quietly dismantling tattooing from the inside out. One hashtagged thirst trap and AI prompt at a time.
This post isn’t just a rant (okay, it’s mostly a rant), it’s a breakdown of the specific ways the electro-oligarchs are sucking the soul out of tattooing.
Let’s take a lovingly jaded stroll through the tattoo industry’s slow motion dystopia, starting with everyone’s favorite dopamine trap: Instagram.
This wasn’t part of my apprenticeship.
Instagram used to be a tool. Now it’s the boss.
I spend more time editing reels and optimizing for SEO than I do actually tattooing. Want to stay visible? Better post three times a day, follow the trends, engage in the comments, and pray that the insta-gods accept your sacrificed week. All for the chance that Zuckerberg’s algorithmic roulette wheel lets your post squeak past 73 followers and a dozen Russian bots.
Those that do get seen, they’re not showing their actual work, a lot of tattooers are using filters. Cranked up contrast, oversaturated colors, silky smooth transitions and skin free of pores.
Some artists even flat out edit their tattoos, smoothing janky lines, blurring patchy color, erasing blowouts. It’s the tattoo version of a Cosmo cover: everyone’s been filtered, photoshopped, and lit like a Marvel movie.
Even I’m guilty to an extent. I use a special polarizing lens to reduce glare and lighting to make tattoos look brighter. It’s a more accurate representation of what the fresh tattoo actually looks like, but I dunno. It’s common practice nowadays yet I still feel weird about it. It’s like doping in the tour de france, if you don’t do it you’ll get left in the dust.
Microrealism. Fineline. The darlings of Instagram. Sure, they look stunning when they’re fresh. Crisp as fresh linen at the new brunch spot. And there are some seriously talented artists out there pulling it off with surgical precision. But… why? These styles are engineered for instant appeal, not longevity. That photorealistic lion on your knuckle? Gorgeous today. Illegible blur by 2027. Meanwhile, grandpa’s faded sailor tat (done with a coil machine and half a bottle of whiskey) still holds up. But the algorithm isn’t showing that.
They’re not even showing you who you’re following. The platform now actively suppresses posts from creators you actually care about. An artist has to pay to get their work in front of the same audience they had last year. Some people think I’ve stopped posting. But they’re just being shown car wrecks or war crimes instead. Enraging = engaging = ka-ching. Zuck gets the ad bucks and the race to the bottom continues.
It’s the perfect storm: hype without truth, reach without roots—and Amazon’s just down the hall handing needles to children.
AMAZON
One click craft killing
Once upon a time a tattooer had to earn the right to buy tattoo supplies. Supply companies required proof that you’d been trained by professionals in a legitimate tattoo studio. Now, anyone with a credit card and a pinterest dream board can get supplies and begin contaminating their friends. No training. No oversight. Just two day shipping and a customer review that says, “Besides the ink giving me an infection this kit is amazing”. The floodgates are wide open, and professional suppliers, who used to vet customers, had to drop their standards just to compete. At this point, the only qualification you need to tattoo is “owns a mailbox.”
MICROSOFT & OPENAI
Building a Future Nobody Asked For
Artificial Intelligence. It’s everywhere, mainly in places we don’t want or need. Sure, it could be used to create an egalitarian utopia but let’s just let it destroy the economy and the planet. Hey, at least people who don’t care enough to practice a skill are now experts.
I’ve met award winning, sponsored artists who straight-up don’t draw. They punch a prompt into their image generator, tweak a few sliders, and stencil whatever pops out. Meanwhile, I’m over here like a chump, sketching thumbnails and caring about basic things like anatomy.
And it’s not just the artists. Clients are bringing me AI generated designs too. Stuff that looks incredible on their phones, but completely ignores things like scale, time, needle diameter, or the fact that skin isn’t a 4k digital display. It’s like asking your mechanic to install jet engines because the plane in Microsoft Flight Simulator had them.
Now that anyone with wi-fi and a pulse can call themselves a tattooer, the industry’s bursting at the seams. Supply is high, demand is low, thanks to AI stalling job growth. Plus the economy’s been circling the drain ever since the Giga tech dork bought himself a tariff happy presidency. When groceries feel like luxury items, tattoos sure as hell aren’t making the essentials list.
This Is Fine™
Keep doomscrolling until doom scrolls you
So what do we do? How do we fix this? Because it’s not just tattooing getting turned into algorithmic gruel. It’s everything. The planet, your paycheque, your daughter’s self esteem, the subscription brakes in your electric car. Every facet of modern life is being warped by five unchecked corporate demigods with cult leader vibes and the ethics of tax dodging reptiles.
If antitrust laws or the Competition Act had even a whisper of spine left, these tech monopolies would’ve been smashed years ago. But here we are, letting billionaires hoard wealth and influence while they build rockets to escape the consequences.
We should be demanding accountability. We should be breaking up these runaway behemoths. We should be holding our leaders, and everyone still cashing Big Tech paycheques, responsible for the slow erosion of art, trust, privacy, and the very notion of truth itself.
But we won’t. If I’m not revolting in the streets, why would anyone else be? We’re comfortable. And until the time comes when we are not, we’ll just keep flailing through TikTok dances while the oceans rise, the ice caps melt, and the job market gets replaced by a chatbots serving no one but the last eight people with any money.
But once we’re starving and the world catches fire, there’ll be only one thing to do.
“When the people shall have nothing more to eat, they will eat the rich.”
Jean-Jacques Rousseau
